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The world's most avid hockey fan, a beautiful sardarni, had arrived early at the stadium for the first game of the series between local rival teams only to realize that she had left her ticket at home.
Not wanting to miss any of the match, she went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat. After an hour's wait she was just a few feet from the booth when a voice called out, 'Hey, Jasmeet!'
She looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the owner of the voice - with no success. Then she realized she had lost her place in the line, and had to go back to the end of the line and wait all over again. Just as she got to the window, a voice called out, 'Hey, jasmeet!' Again she tried to find the voice and got out of line as she wandered looking for the owner of the voice.
But no luck. She was very upset as she got back in line for her ticket.
Finally she had her ticket and took her seat eager for the game to begin. As she waited for it to start, she heard the voice calling, 'Hey,Jasmeet!' once more.
Furious, she stood up and yelled at the top of her lungs, 'My name isn't Jasmeet!'
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hardik r raychanda (mandvi-kutch)
(26/10/2005) |
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One morning at a doctor's surgery a patient arrives complaining of
Serious back pain. The doctor examines him and asks him" OK,
what happened to your back?" The patient replies "You know that I
work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment
early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had
been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the
balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I
saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge
and threw it at him,That's how I strained my back"
The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck.
The doctor said "My previous patient was looked bad, but you look
terrible.What the hell happened to you?" He replied, "You
know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was the first day at my
new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late.
I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you
won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge."
The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other
two patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell
happened to youuuuuu.....?"
"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor"
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hardik r raychanda (mandvi-kutch)
(26/10/2005) |
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Drive-up ATM instructions
A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through cash machines enabling customers to withdraw money without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of cheque-book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
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Shyam Samani
(13/10/2005) |
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lub khamosh ho jate hai jab samne tum aate ho, dil dhadaktha hai jab nigaahe milate ho,saas ruk jati haijab muskurate ho,Heart-patient hun....itna kyun darate ho.
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priti
(8/10/2005) |
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A mushroom goes to a bar and orders a drink. the barman says, We don't serve your kind"
The mushroom replied, What's the matter with you, I am a 'fungai' (funguy)
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Salim J.Kanji
(17/8/2005) |
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A man comes home from a night of drinking.
As he falls through the doorway, his wife snaps at him,
"What's the idea coming home half drunk??"
The man replies, "I'm sorry honey. I ran out of money..."
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Pritesh Hindocha
(29/7/2005) |
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A moment or two after a highway accident, an old Lohana man came up to a woman lying by the roadside.
"Have the Police come yet?" the man asked.
"No," the woman moaned.
"Has the Ambulance been here yet?"
"No," the injured woman repeated.
"How about the Insurance company?"
"No."
"Listen," the Lohana said, bending down. "Do you mind if I lay down next to you?"
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Pritesh Hindocha
(29/7/2005) |
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Wife Wanted
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.”
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: “You can have mine.”
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Jasmine Gandhi
(29/6/2005) |
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Once upon a time there was an Indian (he was a cricket fan) India was
playing a match at wankhede stadium, but on the same day his wife was
having a delivery he had no wishes of missing the match so he decided to
watch the match and visit his wife later on.
The match began, two quick wickets fell.
The fan was disappointed and he remembered his wife he picked up the
phone and quickly dialed number.
He wanted to call the hospital but accidentally called up the stadium, he
asked the man on the other end thinking him to be the doctor "so what's
the result?"
The man replied "It's still in process, two are out nine are left and
the last one was a duck!"
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Pritesh Hindocha
(17/6/2005) |
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Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh walked toward each other on a country road. Hari Singh carried a burlap bag over his shoulder.
"Hey Bhai," Gani Singh drawled, "what's in the bag?"
"Chickens," was the reply.
"If I guess how many, can I have one?"
"You can have both of them."
"OK, Five?!"
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Pritesh Hindocha
(17/6/2005) |
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